I just watched an Instagram video by Glennon Doyle, and she talked about how common and pervasive it is, for women in particular, to experience shame about feeling anger. And how that is total bs we’ve been taught in order to keep us marginalized and “tame.”
Side note: her latest book, Untamed, was just released and it is exceptional. Go buy it, or if you’re like me, order it online and have it delivered.
Anyway, on her video, she pointed out that anger is a normal emotion in response not to something internally wrong, but in response to something truly wrong outside of us. Hmmm. What a fascinating shift in perspective.
I stopped watching The Handmaid’s Tale a while ago because it was bringing out a lot of anger in me. I don’t watch television to have rage incited, please just tell me a story, and thank you Outlander for doing just that.
After shifting the perspective on women and anger, Glennon pointed out that we can choose to use our anger as fuel, which allows it to burn up and propel movement forward. Using our anger as fuel releases it, and at the same time frees us from constantly trying to avoid, deny, or minimize it.
Isn’t that fascinating? It reminds me of a recent book Good and Mad: The Revoluntionary Power of Women’s Anger by Rebecca Traister which discusses the importance of women’s anger when it relates to social change. Many women that I know personally are looking around at our world, and we are so fucking angry at what we see.
By the way, I do want to point out that I also know quite a few men who are equally horrified and angry at the current state of our world. I have really intriguing conversations with men about this topic of anger.
Women in the world right now are angry, fed up, and just exhausted. Things cannot continue to just go on like this. The idea of using the anger we feel as fuel feels really good to me. Viewing it not as a reflection of our worthiness, but a reflection that we’re awake and paying attention to the world around us.
So many women that I know are done playing by the same old rules; we’re ready to write our own rule book. And it’s about damn time we did.
All right, this post was all over the place. But I’ve been alone all day playing with words, so this is all I’ve got right now. Thankfully, conversation with friends is on the calendar for later today. Words and I can only do so much alone; collaborative conversation is important too.
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