Tag Archives: intuition

Echoes of the Past

I have a lot of friends in real estate and lately many of my coffee, lunch, and wine dates have been catching up with my favorites of those friends. One of the most common themes in our conversations is about how eerily the current real estate market conditions feel exactly like it did in 2007…right before the Great Recession arrived.

Even with friends who weren’t working in real estate at that time, many of us have known, for quite a while, that we are seriously overdue for a correction. Right now, we all agree that it seems the long-awaited market correction might actually (finally) be arriving.

In fact, even non-real estate, but business owner and finance industry friends have recognized the echoes from the past heralding change. From a birds eye view, the signs are all amassing and growing stronger.

It’s common to be driving around Charlotte and do a double take, wondering “where did that come from?” which is closely linked to “wait, where did that go?” Construction has been going like crazy all around this area and the construction industry has been behaving as though it’s drunk on profits.

The thing is, unfettered growth is not natural, nor is it sustainable. It is unnatural to expect a perpetual season of summer. I’ve been saying for years now that the Charlotte real estate market feels eerily similar to the way it did all those years ago.

In early September of 2008, the day that Wachovia failed, you could feel the major shift arrive as Charlotte joined the rest of the country in the recession. Up until that time, we’d been plugging along and watching what was unfolding in other areas…thinking we could avoid joining in the economic mess.

Until we couldn’t avoid it any longer. Back then, I had a house listed for sale and it was getting great interest. One buyer intended to make an offer, then their agent called me to say their fully pre-approved financing had been denied. The day that Wachovia failed and went first to Citi and then to Wells Fargo, the city of Charlotte took a collective gasp. One of the funniest captions of that day said, “I’ve worked for three companies today and never moved my desk.”

More than a recession, this area faced an identity crisis of: “If we’re not bank town, then who are we?” None of which was fun. Yet for years we’d been growing, and just kept building, building, building; thinking we were immune from the economic forces already impacting so much of the country.

That house for sale ended up not selling until years later, with another agent. Because my then-clients held me responsible. I am many powerful things: single-handed creator of local or global economic conditions is not one of them.

My intuition isn’t often wrong, and so many of us with intimate knowledge of the past are acknowledging that we may finally be starting to see the market correction that is sorely needed. The echoes of the past just keep getting stronger, while construction just keeps merrily forging ahead, seemingly oblivious to them.

All of that said, I don’t believe the coming correction will be as severe as the last one. But who’s to say? Back in 2007 those of us who had never experienced a market correction had no idea what we were about to encounter; it’s probably for the best that we didn’t know.

In a very personal reminder of echoes from the past, I just allowed myself to reschedule two social gatherings. While I really did want to go to both, the reality is that right now I simply don’t have the energy for them. Allowing myself to speak up and say that I need rest rather than quality time is still not comfortable; but I’m getting better at it. That intense lesson arrived about a year ago and I’m still learning to lean into it.

Copyright©2020 by Diane McDermott, All Rights Reserved, “Echoes of the Past”

The content of this blog is the original content of Diane McDermott, Between the Lines LLC Ghostwriting Services, founded in heartfelt alignment, joyful integrity and creative expression

Contrast and Clarity

Contrast and clarity are powerfully and inevitably intertwined. Life will bring us contrast and the inherent invitation is the clarity we can choose to extract and take forward.

Contrast shows up in experiences, situations, relationships and any number of other pathways. I won’t suggest that contrast within this human experience is ever exactly “fun” to feel, but there are still brilliant gifts it offers when we choose to recognize them. Contrast is the space between what we do and do not want.

Clarity born out of contrasting/challenging/uncomfortable experiences is powerful because it’s like a compass. We’re constantly fine tuning to our true North: What DO I want, how do I want to feel, what will I and what will I not allow? This can be applied to any area of life but in my experience relationships are the most fertile ground for this wisdom to arrive.

As a writer I create my own working definitions of some words and divorce is one of them. I see it as far more expansive than the end of a legal marriage. To me, divorce means cutting energetic and physical ties while implementing value based boundaries.

I’ve divorced “friends”, acquaintances, business relationships, and of course my marriage. I’ve divorced mindsets, old versions of myself, professional roles, the list goes on. You could say I’m the Queen of Divorce in all of its versions.

When I get to the point of divorcing anything, there has always been a dance of contrast and clarity.

For a long while I was firmly in the camp of focusing on the contrast to show me what I didn’t want. There was a big shift last October that had me pivoting and looking more at what I DO want as a result of contrast.

That shift has been really powerful and doors continue to fly open as I focus on the clarity of what is deeply meaningful to me: The people, experiences, connections and things that are most deeply aligned with me and my core values.

The pathway of growth and awareness is an upward spiral and while the contrast never goes away, I’ve found my recovery rate increases exponentially.

More than a year ago someone I thought was a friend hired and fired me within the span of a few weeks, after I did a ton of work on their house listing. The shattering unfolded rapidly and it was clear we were not aligned. My boundary enforcement and cutting out of this person was swift and complete. But….it really hurt and it hurt for a while.

Fast forward to recently when it became clear a connection needed to be removed. My recovery rate was exponentially faster and so much easier. Clarity felt like relief.

Contrast is going to show up. Clarity can follow and whether it does so quickly or over time the invitation is always there.

I’ve deeply learned these past years that I cannot and will not hold responsibility for the choices, behavior and actions of others upon my shoulders. When contrast arises, I’ll mine the clarity and gratefully take that wisdom with me. Onward and upward always.

Clarity on what I do want continues to come into ever sharper focus. For that insight and the ever increasing recovery rate from contrast, I am immensely grateful.

Copyright©2019 by Diane McDermott, All Rights Reserved, “Contrast and Clarity”

The content of this blog is the original content of Diane McDermott, Between the Lines LLC Ghostwriting Services, founded in heartfelt alignment, connection and creative expression

Levels of Access and Boundaries

Boundaries are a key ingredient in my life and I could talk about them for days. My guest blog about Boundaries and Barricades is a great reference point.

Boundaries inherently involve both levels of access and discernment.

There are billions of people on the planet. I do NOT want, need or desire to have that many people close to me. I am intentional and discerning in who gets access to me.

There are levels of access and these aren’t concrete, they are fluid and flexible. One of my closest people describes concentric circles of access and I love that visual. People will land and move between those circles with myself at the center.

Being at the center of my own concentric circles is huge for my recovering people pleasing self. Unapologetically giving myself permission to guard, enforce and uphold the boundaries of access to me.

At times, honoring that permission to grant and deny access involves cutting. When I cut it is swift, complete and can feel harsh to those removed. The other side of that is the very powerful and aligned honoring of myself and my values. For that I give zero fucks and will never apologize. Unapologetic permission is freeing.

Honoring and upholding my own core value based boundaries is only and always my work to do. To allow those that prove worthy closer, while continuing to release those not aligned.

In conversations with close circle people lately, we all express there is tremendous freedom in both honoring and recognizing aligned and non-aligned connections sooner rather than later. It saves everyone time and energy.

For those of us that are highly intuitive and empathic, it’s beautifully liberating to witness both those who are aligned and those who are not. Either way, we see you and will take steps to honor our own values. Embracing heartfelt connection and removing ourselves from those who haven’t earned access to us.

Within recent days I noticed myself intentionally moving physically closer to those I trust most. It’s based on a feeling and defies logic but feels right, true and heartfelt. All of which are deeply meaningful to me. It also feels fun and joyful.

Onward and upward always. Trust yourself, listen to the whispers of guidance. There’s tremendous power in trusting yourself.

Copyright©2019 by Diane McDermott, All Rights Reserved, “Levels of Access and Boundaries”

The content of this blog is the original content of Diane McDermott, Between the Lines LLC Ghostwriting Services, founded in heartfelt alignment, connection and creative expression