My freedom date (separation) is in November, but the actual anniversary of becoming officially divorced is March 8th. And this will be the third anniversary. I could (and might) plan a celebration integrated with my upcoming birthday.
In another year of valuable insight, awareness, and wisdom; I’ve learned a lot more about myself.
– I like having complete control of my calendar without being obligated due to external commitments. This complete flexibility has surprised me by how much I enjoy it. Letting go of some old identities was really liberating. Identities that absolutely transformed me, but that I had (I can now admit) undeniably outgrown.
– Dating is a shit show. I am not interested in dating for the sake of dating. I also don’t require an app in order to meet people as I do that naturally wherever I go. In addition to Pisces (my ex), Gemini has firmly been established as an absolute no. Love my Pisces and Gemini friends, and professionally they are great clients, but I don’t do well in intimate relationships with them. Lesson learned.
– Actually publishing my first memoir is rapidly nearing completion and as I said to my current designer, Shit!!! This is becoming very real and tangible. A Cheryl Strayed quote I love is “Your book has a birthday. You just don’t know what it is.” This first memoir may be born sometime this spring, and that both exhilarates and terrifies me.
– Reclaiming my bedroom space has been an ongoing process. I’ve slept alone for five years but it was only after my divorce was final that I fully re-painted it. A year ago, it’s where I retreated to heal, and for a while I was very productive from bed. But I don’t like having work in that area and appreciate that it is fully back to personal space.
– I like going to the movies. That was never something ex and I never did together, and it’s only recently with friends that I’ve realized how much I enjoy it. The reclining and heated seats don’t hurt the experience. And even with no knowledge of the show, Downton Abbey was absolutely brilliant.
– Relationships shift and change over time. Some grow more intense and stronger. Others run their course, and all of that is okay. I just reconnected with a friend; I truly forgot just how much I enjoy talking with them, and how much we have in common.
– Sometimes, it’s just so nice to be on the receiving end of an invitation. I tend to do a lot of inviting, gathering, coordinating and it’s just so refreshing to have someone reach out and ask for time with me.
– Quiet and down time for and with myself aren’t weak or lazy; they’re requirements. I truly love time by myself. I am very social and love the people in my life. I also cherish time alone. After being emotionally, physically and mentally exhausted, I spent New Years Day and January 2nd in bed reading. It was blissful.
– Communication and relationships are things at which I naturally excel…when they are with the right people. Both are skills I would have previously denied but over the past year have become even more prominent.
– Having my own space these past years has become so precious to me. But at the same time, I can choose who I invite and allow into that space. Welcoming people into my space has been very healing.
– I actually like traveling even by myself. Ex and I never traveled well together and by the end we just didn’t. Having gone to new places, both with friends and most recently alone, has been so much fun.
My life has changed tremendously over the course of a year, not to mention over the course of the past three years. I am continually surprised, sometimes shocked and sometimes delighted, by all of the new that continues to show up.
This life experience is messy beyond belief. It also includes invitations to witness wonder, magic, and brilliant resonance. I’ve learned that all I can continue to do is keep showing up for all of it. For that, I am grateful.
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