Tag Archives: Boundaries

Emerging

While I never really stopped showing up for my life, recently there has been a theme of emerging in even deeper ways. Early April of last year, I was at a local business event and several people seemed surprised to see me there; which I didn’t understand…was I supposed to stay in bed?

In recent conversation with someone who also encountered trauma last year, I asked if they noted the irony that we’re both ready to emerge more fully into our lives when the world shuts down. How fun.

Someone who was once very close to me, but then cut me off rather brutally, recently sent an IG follow request. To which I turned my head sideways wondering what the actual fuck they were thinking; and NO.

At the same time, other people I haven’t been in touch with lately have come back around and I’ve been able to reconnect with them joyfully. The choice is always mine to make. People continue to emerge back into my life in surprising ways.

Emerging even more fully into my life in so many ways is indescribably sweet and sometimes also bitter. I’m very aware of people that I choose to keep and those I choose to release.

Charlotte is a very, very small town; I am aware that I could encounter these non-connections in a variety of settings. Whether you think I’m writing about you or not, you’re right.

The reality is that my emergence and presence in my own life is only and always up to me; I choose who, where, and with whom I spend my time and energy.

Copyright©2020 by Diane McDermott, All Rights Reserved, “Emerging”

The content of this blog is the original content of Diane McDermott, Between the Lines LLC Ghostwriting Services, founded in heartfelt alignment, joyful integrity and creative expression

 

Insight Into the Path Beyond Least Resistance

I have so very much to say. The month of July was not one I was at all sad to see go. It was more like a firm good riddance, let’s turn the damn page already and move into August.

July just felt like a lot. A lot of intensity, a lot of heaviness, a lot of emotion, a lot of uncertainty and fogginess, a lot of clearing and release; all of which become exhausting very quickly.

One of the themes that has come up in many recent conversations involves the concept of the path of least resistance.

And that same concept just showed up in the editing of my own writing today. That content of mine is currently open and waiting for me to continue with it…while I productively procrastinate and write this post.

To me, there’s a difference between the path of least resistance and surrendering attachments to an outcome. They are NOT the same thing. The path of least resistance feels stagnant and somehow tired. Surrendering expectations or the insistence of a specific outcome feel liberating and uplifting.

This path of least resistance is not ever really a valid option for my life experience. I’ve been told often in recent months, you’re so “brave” or “strong” or any number of similar sentiments. My reply is usually some version of the truth that I haven’t been aware of any other choice or option. Bravery, strength and courage don’t exist in the absence of fear; they exist in collaboration with the choice to move forward anyway.

I experience fear, doubt, worry and anxiety on a daily basis. Finding myself in a variety of parking lots doesn’t stop me from getting out of my car, worried that some random person will physically assault me. I move through the world intentionally showing the hell up for my life. Maybe it’s a reflection of my innate defiant and rebellious nature. Perhaps it’s just a refusal to shut down. Either way, I keep showing up.

I suppose I could have chosen to respond to certain events by curling up and never getting out of bed again. That’s not me, and it’s not how I choose to live my life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m writing from bed right now. I love being at home. I also love quality time with the people I care about, and have both professional and personal social plans most of tomorrow.  I’m a study in contrasts for sure, and I live in the gray area between extremes.

The path of least resistance concept doesn’t feel intentional, and it certainly lacks passion. It feels very much like accepting something that’s “fine” rather than choosing to believe that “exceptional” exists and is a completely valid possibility.

I’m not interested in things, experiences, or relationships in which “fine” is the standard. I choose to set my personal standard at the exceptional. What is really interesting while reading things I wrote years ago, is the recognition of how much I have changed. As have my personal standards.

I was recently asked what having chosen a path of least resistance might have looked like while navigating divorce. I really don’t know how to answer that question. I find it intriguing to consider, but at the same time; I just don’t recall ever really seeing it as a valid pathway for myself.

When I really look back at it from my current perspective, my ex husband was a clear example of one who consistently chose the path of least resistance. Maybe that’s what underlies my refusal to even consider it as an option for myself? The endless side effects of a highly active mind include turning my inquisitive nature on myself. Often.

Regardless, as I continue to navigate my own life experience and make decisions, I do really appreciate the ability to evaluate options based on how well they align with a standard of exceptional. I’m not interested in “fine.”

Especially in recent months, I’ve noticed myself making decisions not from a space of obligation, but from one truly rooted in desire and passion. I just like how that feels a lot more than any previous decision framework I’ve ever had.

And regardless of outcome, I’m still willing to show up for the possibility of exploring the exceptional. Whatever that may look like and however it may appear in my life. That choice and intention feels like true magic, potential, and possibility.

Copyright©2019 by Diane McDermott, All Rights Reserved, “Insight Into the Path Beyond Least Resistance”

The content of this blog is the original content of Diane McDermott, Between the Lines LLC Ghostwriting Services, founded in heartfelt alignment, connection and creative expression