I don’t even have words for what April and May seem to bring my way every year. It seems that every single year I’m left looking around wondering “what the fuck?”
This year has been no different and strongly involves people that I used to know. In some cases, death is involved. In other cases, re-connection has arisen unexpectedly. In all cases, I am stunned.
What makes this year’s spring season so different is the fact that we’re all quarantined and nothing is “normal.”
There are people that I intellectually understand I will never see again…but that awareness hasn’t sunk in to a visceral level yet. There are people that have surprisingly sweetly come back in to my life in some very unexpected ways.
I know quite a lot of people and meet more all of the time. It’s always interesting to witness people that I used to know both fall away, re-emerge, or transition to different levels of connection.
Maybe I’m getting a “little” better at allowing such transitions to take place. But I still have to say that grief is fucking brutal. It is awful and a process I wish I weren’t so intimately acquainted with in my own life.
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