It has been quite a week. My most recent personal Instagram post sums it up in wondering whether I need a hug, coffee, several shots of vodka or weeks of sleep. Maybe a combination of all those things would be helpful. Based on the hilarious comments, I’m not the only one experiencing sleepless nights lately.
After somewhat maddening delays and frustrations, this week has certainly brought a breath of fresh air and forward movement. There have also been floods of new connections and conversations arriving recently.
Turns out, creativity is both invigorating and exhausting. And right now, I’m engaged in a wide variety of creative projects and collaborations. To the extent that I’m even impressing myself with how many I’m currently involved in. I’m happily participating in all of it and despite the exhaustion, I do love seeing all of it unfold.
At the same time as new connections continue to arrive, it’s comforting to also have familiar people around. I got to talk with two of my closest and long term friends yesterday and didn’t realize how much I’d missed them. There’s something healing about being able to talk with people who know you so well that words aren’t necessary.
Exploring possibilities isn’t really new to me, it certainly started once I ended my marriage nearly four years ago. I realized I hadn’t been exploring or experiencing so much that Charlotte had to offer. That exploration certainly continues and yesterday found me at a book store I’ve probably passed a million times but never stopped in before.
I’ve stood in countless rooms and spaces while networking, connecting and meeting people over the years. While I was focused on my real estate career, it always felt stifling. As though I was grouped into some large, shapeless category of “just another real estate agent” at the expense of my individual perspective.
One of the most beautiful aspects of embracing being a writer has been truly and completely feeling unique. It is so liberating to embrace the fact that I don’t have any competition, because there is no one exactly like me. It feels like such immense freedom, and I love that.
Sleepless nights have been the norm and this morning began just before 4am. So the fact that I’ll be day drinking with friends later isn’t really inappropriate. Some of these same friends were with me the day my marriage ended. At one point, I was worried that these friendships would change based on some decisions I made. Now that worry just seems so silly, because truly…you cannot lose what is meant for you.
As physically tired as I feel, it’s nice to have a joyful reason to gather with these friends today in celebration of a birthday. Each one of us has (and are) navigating heavy and dark circumstances. The opportunity to stand in the light of joyful celebration with one another feels precious.
Regardless of what the hell this Aquarius full moon is bringing into my life, I’m just going to continue showing up for all of it. And maybe sleep or nap when I can.
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