I’ve never been a fan of the Valentine’s Day holiday regardless of whether I’ve been single, married or dating someone. It just reeks of contrived and unrealistic expectation which doesn’t sit well with me. Kinda the opposite of genuine and heartfelt, meaningful connection.
Several years ago around this time it was actually really fun to receive some long awaited divorce documents….and walk boldly into the ex’s attorney’s office allowing them to meet me for the first time.
This morning I was listening to a radio segment and they were talking about relationships in your 30s, 40s and beyond, as well as how different those relationships can be from previous ones.
I’ve actually considered this quite a bit personally, asking myself “what DO I want and what is meaningful to me”?
There is such immense freedom, possibility and potential in considering and allowing myself to design and intentionally align my values with regard to what a relationship might include.
For me, it wouldn’t include legal marriage and honestly probably wouldn’t involve living together either.
It would include fun, laughter, companionship, intellectual conversation as well as passion and intimacy. The thought of using dating sites or apps to serial date leaves me exhausted just considering it. That’s never been and still isn’t my style. Meaningful and heartfelt connection is woven into every single relationship in my life.
The past several years of deep introspection have brought tremendous clarity on my preferences and what’s non-negotiable when it comes to any relationship. That clarity is the foundation of every choice I make now, and that holds true for all versions of relationships.
There’s no right or wrong relationship formula and there’s such brilliant freedom and possibility in considering that I can choose all aspects of a relationship. Choices not based on external expectations or “traditions” but out of alignment and honoring myself.
At 22, hell even at 30 or 35, I didn’t realize I already had the ability to give myself unapologetic permission to create an entirely new and unique framework for a romantic relationship. I deeply realize that potential now. And that awareness is priceless.
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